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You are here: Home / Archives for humor

humor

Messing with Other People’s Time Management

By Mark Shead 9 Comments

I write a lot about how to be more productive, but what if that really isn't your thing? What if you don't like productivity? What if your goal in life is to ruin productivity for other people? In an effort to expand our readership to people striving for unproductivity, here are six things you can do to guarantee that your co-workers get as little done as possible. Productivity501 takes no responsibility for the results of actually implementing any of these ideas. Randomly put entries on their calendar like: "1:30 meeting with John White Important!" or "Call Sally 535-321-1242". Place them far enough in the future that they won't suspect you did it. Write in fake delegated … [Read more...] about Messing with Other People’s Time Management

Tuesday’s Tip: Removing Superglue

By Mark Shead 17 Comments

Have you ever gotten superglue all over your fingers and had to live with it for two weeks as it wore off? There is a simple way to take it off, but first, let me tell you a story. When my wife worked in the ER of a large county hospital in Dallas, she saw a lot of very strange cases. One of the most interesting was the guy who came in with his eyes closed. Evidently, his wife had accused him of looking at other women and they got into a fight. Somehow, he decided that he could prove that he wasn't looking at other women by super-gluing his eyes closed. (I am not making this up.) After the glue dried, he began to think it wasn't such a great idea and got some people to drive him … [Read more...] about Tuesday’s Tip: Removing Superglue

Bill Gates on XP

By Mark Shead 3 Comments

This email is a pretty interesting account of Bill Gates trying to install Movie Maker. … [Read more...] about Bill Gates on XP

Breaking the Internet

By Mark Shead 3 Comments

I just saw a video where someone explained that typing Google into Google can "break the internet".   I sent the link to my dad and then went and tried it at Google.  I immediately (I'm not joking) got a message from my remote executive assistant saying that her internet was down.  I think I broke the internet in India.  Sorry about that everyone. … [Read more...] about Breaking the Internet

Understanding How Different Genders Think

By Mark Shead 2 Comments

One of my consulting clients has a company thats purpose is to help lower the divorce rate in America. One of their big goals is to teach people how to understand each other. Here is a short excerpts of one of their videos explaining the difference between the way men and women think. Obviously this is a generalization, but it is a useful reference point for planning discussions with people of the opposite sex--not just your spouse. For example, if you are a woman trying to negotiate a business agreement with a man you should be aware that he is less likely to see the holistic benefits of the arrangement. He is more likely to view the deal in isolation instead of seeing the advantages … [Read more...] about Understanding How Different Genders Think

Thinking For Yourself

By Mark Shead 6 Comments

This morning I read a news article that started out: SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- Some women in Springfield are regretting their decision last week to get a tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman. link Um.  I think I would have seen that one coming.  One of the biggest differences I noticed in Mexico was the fact that people expect to rely on their own good judgment.   In the US I find people tend to think: If it is legal it is right. If it is for sale, it must be safe. If I'm not physically prevented from doing something it must be ok. In the US if you are near a cliff there would be a rule that says you aren't allowed to go near the edge.  There would probably be a fence or other … [Read more...] about Thinking For Yourself

Self Inflicted Insult

By Mark Shead 7 Comments

Most of the readers of Productivity501 are very nice and gracious.  That is why I was surprised when I found this comment in my moderation queue. When I read this, I was at first a little hurt.  I consoled myself by deciding it was some type of new blog spam or something.  As I got ready to delete the comment I realized that the ip address looked familiar. It turns out that I posted the comment as the first thing that came to mind when I was trying to solve a problem with the email notifications last week.  I had forgotten about it. I felt better knowing that my insult was self inflicted. In college I had a friend who would call himself and leave encouraging messages on his … [Read more...] about Self Inflicted Insult

Visual Voicemail Confusion

By Mark Shead 7 Comments

My wife and I have used Vonage for our home telephone service for several years.  Overall we've been very pleased with the service.  It was especially useful when we were living in Mexico. One of the great features is the way that voice mail shows up with your email as an attachment.  I use a Blackberry that isn't capable of playing a .wav file so when I'm on the road this feature is only useful to help show me who called so I can call them back. Recently they introduced a feature called "Visual Voicemail" where for $0.25 they will transcribe your  voice mail and add it to the message along with the .wav file.  This seemed like a great idea, so I signed up for the service.  I'm not … [Read more...] about Visual Voicemail Confusion

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